Something to read and think about…

February 21, 2010 at 9:54 AM Leave a comment

I’ve added a new article to my “Turn Mourning into Dancing Page” called “Tough Questions” that is a great, short read.  A family friend shared it with me.  The article shares two different experiences two mothers went through with their babies. Some of my story with Hailey can be found in both of the stories shared.

For after you read: (‘spoiler’ warning)

What are my thoughts after reading the article?

1. The early screenings pregnant women under go are very unreliable. In the article, the first woman was told that her baby would have Trisomy 21, but she ended up having a healthy baby. In the article, the second woman was told that her baby would have Trisomy 21, and her baby did have Trisomy 21. In my life, I was told that Hailey might have a Trisomy disorder during the ultrasound portion of the screening, and later after the 2nd part of the screening was completed (the bloodwork) I was told that Hailey would not have a disorder after all and she would be a healthy baby. However, Hailey did end up having a disorder, Trisomy 18. In all cases the screenings failed.

2. It makes me furious that when women have these ‘routine’ screenings doctors immediately ask if we want to terminate our pregnancies. The two women were both faced with this option BECAUSE OF THEIR DOCTORS’ SUGGESTIONS. I was asked if I was interested in terminating my pregnancy before the 2nd part of the screening was even completed which meant that the results weren’t even in and the doctor was asking me if I wanted to have an abortion. Really?! What happened to the oaths and codes of ethics doctors are supposed to adhere to – you know the ones that say things like: “…I solemnly pledge myself to consecrate my life to the service of humanity…I will maintain the utmost respect for human life from the time of conception…” Did you know that the original Hippocratic Oath mentions not conducting abortions but the modern one removes that phrase?

3. Ultimately, my words of ‘wisdom’ or ‘advice’ to pregnant women: It is your choice whether you want to have a screening done or not. Please realize that if you do have a screening, the only way to know for sure whether there is a health problem with your baby is NOT through a screening – they are not very reliable. If you have a negative screening that shows your baby will be healthy, realize there is the chance that he/she may not be – as was the case with Hailey. If you have a positive screening indicating that there is something ‘wrong’ with your baby, realize there is a chance he/she may be healthy. I would beg and plead with any woman who has a positive screening to not go with the doctor’s suggestion to terminate your pregnancy. One, you might kill your own healthy son or daughter. Two, even if something is ‘wrong’ with your child, choose life – because you will find that though the doctors may tell you your son or daughter might be disabled, handicapped, sick, abnormal, unhealthy, imperfect, etc., your son or daughter remains a miraculous creation by God and while life may be difficult for a time for you and your child, you will see beyond the narrow minds of these doctors and experience a love you never thought possible. And I should also mention, the only way to know for sure (99%) about the health of your baby is through an amniocentesis, a test which runs the risk of a spontaneous abortion – and again, my response to that can be found in my previous statements…

4. I admire the women in the article. I celebrate their final decisions to keep their babies as God celebrates them too. The tough questions we are faced with are in deed tough, and the answers we came up with could also be considered tough by some, but our answers left us with amazing results – three amazing little human beings that have impacted countless people.


Entry filed under: Trisomy 18, Uncategorized. Tags: .

Hailey’s Purpose Flailing Frustrations, Like Mother, Like Daughter

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"God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed." ~Job 1:21

In Loving Memory of Hailey Marie

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